The Thirty-Third: TWO MONTHS

I have only two months left in China! This has put so much pressure on me.

1) I have so much to cover with my classes, so now I have all this prep work I need to do IMMEDIATELY. And though I had a free day today...nada.

Gonna wake up really early tomorrow to get some stuff done. Gotta work all weekend now.

2) I NEED TO GET OFF MY DUFF AND STUDY CHINESE SERIOUSLY BEFORE I GO HOME. 'TWILL BE TOTALLY PATHETIC IF I NEVER DID IT EVER.

3) I promised A that I would quit biting my nails here, and while I've been better about it, I've not quit.

But what I am the most concerned about (sadly) is now really want to come home hot. This swelling (expanding, exploding) desire has derailed all my recent mental health progress where I was happy at my weight and just wanted to be in shape.

Maybe I didn't actually make that progress.

So:

4) My skin. I have been so mean to it, and I hope serious Retin-A applications can fade the scarring lickety-split.

I've become super-disciplined about keeping up my skin care routine and not touching my skin EVER. (With the no nail-biting either, I am CONSTANTLY yanking my hands away from myself.)

5) My weight! According to the Spaniard's hotel scale and my clothing/eyes, I have not lost ANY weight since I came here, and I am no longer okay with that.

I just finally started pilates today. Will start running again tomorrow. (I'm nervous about finally confronting all the conditioning I've lost.)

Being very serious about diet. Been waking up to eat a large cafeteria breakfast, then a small lunch, then whatever fruit I want for the rest of the day. No chips, no junk. Lots of hunger. Motivation wavers hourly, because dieting totally sucks, and I'm really tired.

I wish I'd put more thought into it/could calculate the calories, but there's no time and not a lot of options in China. I can't imagine it's much less than 1200 calories, if that, so I'm sure it's fine. Two months won't kill me. Even if I am really, really tired.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.


P.S. I like this for my wedding dress:

































P.P.S. And I might like this purse:

































P.P.P.S. And, in an insane twist, I can actually afford them!

The Thirtieth: "Hi. have a good time"

A few weeks ago in class, I showed my students several traditional haikus, and then I told them that they could just write a silly one and gave the example "I can do magic/I have green eyes, black hair/I'm Harry Potter".

Together as a class we then wrote a similar haiku about Yao Ming and one about Obama, and then I asked the students to write a haiku about themselves. The formula I presented had their names in the last line like the Harry Potter poem, but I only gave that because my students look around in fear and don't do anything if don't give very specific directions. (Once I do give specific directions, many ignore them and do something more creative, which is what I'd prefer anyway. :) )

This is a large sample of what I got back (spelling and punctuation unchanged):

THE MAJORITY WROTE

Most wrote two bland details in the first two lines and then wrote "I am __ __ __" or "My name is __ __" (because most names here are two or three syllables). For example:

I am a student
I live in Hunan, China
I am Liu Si Jie

or

I like basketball
I like play computer games
My name is Kuang Ting

IMPRESSIVE ONES

I read in the room
But the room is so dirty
I begin to clean

Dark and small in vain
Wander under your big feet
I'm crazy shadow

(Written during the last class before they were let out for a long weekend.)
The sun is shining
The holiday is coming
Excited Owen

I am from Hengshan
I like laughing and crying
My name is Deng Ye

He is very rich
so he likes spending money.
It is a waste.

I'm Vanessa
Other people live to eat
while I eat to live

I can do anything
May I help you, boys and girls
My name is Wang Jun

I can't remember the whole poem (and I already gave it back to her), but one student's 7-syllable line was, "I am proud of my father".

(This student's English name is Will.)
See me at the gate.
a clever and handsome boy
you "will" know my name.

I have twenty eight teeth
You can see all when I smile
My name is Long Min

("Zhu" is a common Chinese name, and it also means "pig" in Chinese.)
The pig is lazy
I'm more lazy than the pig
So I must be zhu

FUNNY ONES

I am a student
I am from HuNan Province
I like my school. Ha.

I enjoy eating meat
If I say goodbye to meat
It is the last day.

I have a best friend
Sometimes she looks like Yeti
My name is Liu Jing Lan

(I confiscated a cell phone from this student and wouldn't let him leave after the bell rang until he wrote a poem.)
I am a big bad egg
I play the game in the class
I am Den Lin Jian

I like fish. very much.
My favorite color is green. not else.
My name is green fish.

(Note the reversal of color.)
I am a black man
I used to be a white man
I'm Michael Jackson

I am very hungry
I want to the supermarket
I need so many food

I need to study
My Dad requires me to
My name is Mattin

I'm a high student
I like listening music
My name is Shan Min

The god is a girl
I am a god of myself
So god is LiuQiong

I'm enjoy freedom
I just want to do myself
because I'm Honki

I got a stomache
I am not a luky dog
I like warm weather

I like eating food
But I'm not a lazy girl
I am Xie Qiao Yong

Like father Like son,
what do you think about it?
I don't think so.

My name is Vicky
The world is very nice
I love my mother

I like a grow up
Because grow up so heavy
I hope me quiet grow up

where are you from
I do not know about you
Hi. have a good time

I play basketball
I love basketball so much
I'm eating apple.
Apples taste very good.

(This student initially wrote a dull-but-correct haiku. Then I directed all the students to write their names and student numbers on their papers before turning them in, and he wrote this.)
My name is B1
I like the number of 3
but you give me 8

I love my home.
What are you doing now?
How to do it.

THE BEST ONES

(They often say "very" instead of "really".)
I'm a common girl
And very like you!
I am He Yan Xi

tell me the reason.
why you are so beautiful
my name is Devil.

I like sky very much
I think I'm very handsome
My teacher is cute.

You are beautiful
You're an American girl
You are my teacher

You're a beautiful girl
like the red rose and light moon
I'll express to you

The Twenty-Ninth

I don't have a very clear idea for this post. I just felt that enough things have happened that I ought to post. Those things are:

1) I had a fabulous morning on Friday, which put me into an insanely good mood in time for my daily lunchtime Skyping with A. My morning classes went fabulously--I explained things a little differently, and the kids GOT it. I had figured out a much better way to help Ryan (a student who asked me early in the year for extra help with her pronunciation -- we work for 20ish minutes every Friday lunchtime right after her class), so she left our session smiling very broadly (as opposed to totally disheartened, like last week). I also ran and showered before classes (something I wish I did everyday, but rarely ever do) and did a load of laundry and maybe even had proper food? I can't even remember. In any case, I felt like an extremely successful human being.

2) I had a totally horrible morning yesterday. Celebrations for the school's 100th anniversary were starting that afternoon, so the students had their minds on anything but English that morning. Teaching was like banging my head against the blackboard. My three classes painfully trudged through only a very small portion of my lesson, which means the schedules for those classes (on top of the ones that have been outright canceled because of the celebrations) are all screwy. Ordinarily, I can usually take such things in stride, but my patience was unusually short and my stress level unusually high for whatever reason.

Moreover, I was looking forward to my lunchtime chat with A because he has quite a relaxing effect on me, but it was then that my bloody (poor, ancient) computer decided its flirtation with dying (it had been having fleeting difficulties recognizing the power cord) had become a full-blown love affair. I had to trek back to the office to use the computer there and figure out how to set up Gmail video chat in effin' Chinese.

But it did eventually work, and I was aware that my evil mood was unreasonable, and talking to A did calm me down.

3) I did not run 40 minutes yesterday as I should have, because I was too tired and too scared. BUT, I did it today in the full heat of high noon in China. I. RAN. FORTY. MINUTES. That's SO many minutes! I even confirmed with A that that is significantly more minutes than either of us ever thought I'd run. Plus, plus, plus the students picked today of all days to take notice of me again (after the first flurry when I started running, they've been highly disinterested). First, one of my students hopped on the track and started running with me, but he didn't even make it a lap. I think it was partly because he didn't warm up or hit a stride, but mostly because he wasn't expecting me to turn around and run the other way mid-lap. (It was rather Bugs Bunny-esque how he went sailing on in the other direction.)

Then, when I had 15-20 minutes left, two Senior 3 boys stopped by and tried to talk to me whenever I ran past them. After a few times of waving at my headphones and saying, "I can't hear you!", they parked themselves in the shade and WATCHED me finish! And a workman and few younger students joined them!

When I did finally finish (I had a rough time at the beginning -- it was SO hot -- and again around the 25-30-minute mark, but I ran through it and finished feeling pretty good), the two Senior 3 boys came out to talk. They asked me about my shuffle

Me: My boyfriend gave it to me for my birthday.
Them [as if I'd said something MOST salacious]: OOoooh.

and how long I had just run

Me [all supercool and nonchalant]: Forty minutes.
Them: Wow, you are an athlete. How many years have you been training?

Then because I was going to stretch, they asked me to show them how. So I did that quickly (hilarious) and went inside to shower and crow to A.

The Eleventh

One of the teachers in my office talks loudly to herself all the time. When I mentioned this to a few friends, ALL of them told me that they also talked to themselves and didn't see that what she was doing was at all notable.

A few of the other teachers in my office talk to themselves occasionally too. The language barrier does prevent me from knowing the content of these little chats, but they seem to usually be one of those quick mumbles all, "okaaaay, so I need this one, and that--and where is...okay, here, good". By tone, demeanor, and rhythm, I can tell when the other teachers are doing that.

But this one teacher. She is delivering full-blown emotional and LOUD monologues about goodness knows what. Words are absolutely pouring forth from her with no reservation whatsoever. Even if I were inclined to do that, I don't think I even have enough thoughts in my head to produce such a steady stream of dialogue.

And she does this almost every single time I'm in the office with no mention or indication or apologetic eye roll or sheepish grin or ANY expression at all that she's aware of what she's doing or that perhaps it's unusual.

But it is pretty weird...right?

The Ninth: "Now where did they run off to...?"

link

I teach sixteen-year-olds. Today one (or maybe two?) of my students was throwing diapers in class.

The Sixth

I forgot my camera today. I didn't even think of grabbing it, since C and I were just going to run errands, but so many lovely little things happened. It was an immense pity that neither of us had a camera, and we both thought so.

First, there were four colorful slippers (two pairs) lined up (to dry?) on this faded-yet-still-colorful metal framework of originally used for goodness knows what. The slippers were off-center, and there were chickens, and it was all so graphic-yet-funny.

Second, there was this dog: clean, short-legged, and following us.

Third, we had an impromptu sing-a-long with a motorbike burglar alarm. I'm not sure how we could have captured that on film, but it would have been worth the effort.

Fourth, we both got clay pots that were unusually delish. We also figured out which items on the menu they were so we could get them again (it's been a crapshoot at that restaurant thus far), and my (clay) pot was only 16 yuan!

Good food and beautiful weather is always worth a photo.

The Fifth

Bought eggs. One broke. Washed all the rest, put them in a new bag. Now have very clean eggs.

Also bought bread, chopped up pineapple, asked Mom to mail me more Grape-Nuts, bought wooden utensil that wouldn't scrape my teflon pan when I cook future veggies, bought desk lamp (only took me 6 months), picked up yogurt from office (but did not ask Song for more yet), and showered (only took me 6 months) (I kid).

Ate one yogurt--unusually delicious. Will buy veggies tomorrow.

Didn't run. Didn't lesson plan. Ate chips.