The Thirtieth: "Hi. have a good time"

A few weeks ago in class, I showed my students several traditional haikus, and then I told them that they could just write a silly one and gave the example "I can do magic/I have green eyes, black hair/I'm Harry Potter".

Together as a class we then wrote a similar haiku about Yao Ming and one about Obama, and then I asked the students to write a haiku about themselves. The formula I presented had their names in the last line like the Harry Potter poem, but I only gave that because my students look around in fear and don't do anything if don't give very specific directions. (Once I do give specific directions, many ignore them and do something more creative, which is what I'd prefer anyway. :) )

This is a large sample of what I got back (spelling and punctuation unchanged):

THE MAJORITY WROTE

Most wrote two bland details in the first two lines and then wrote "I am __ __ __" or "My name is __ __" (because most names here are two or three syllables). For example:

I am a student
I live in Hunan, China
I am Liu Si Jie

or

I like basketball
I like play computer games
My name is Kuang Ting

IMPRESSIVE ONES

I read in the room
But the room is so dirty
I begin to clean

Dark and small in vain
Wander under your big feet
I'm crazy shadow

(Written during the last class before they were let out for a long weekend.)
The sun is shining
The holiday is coming
Excited Owen

I am from Hengshan
I like laughing and crying
My name is Deng Ye

He is very rich
so he likes spending money.
It is a waste.

I'm Vanessa
Other people live to eat
while I eat to live

I can do anything
May I help you, boys and girls
My name is Wang Jun

I can't remember the whole poem (and I already gave it back to her), but one student's 7-syllable line was, "I am proud of my father".

(This student's English name is Will.)
See me at the gate.
a clever and handsome boy
you "will" know my name.

I have twenty eight teeth
You can see all when I smile
My name is Long Min

("Zhu" is a common Chinese name, and it also means "pig" in Chinese.)
The pig is lazy
I'm more lazy than the pig
So I must be zhu

FUNNY ONES

I am a student
I am from HuNan Province
I like my school. Ha.

I enjoy eating meat
If I say goodbye to meat
It is the last day.

I have a best friend
Sometimes she looks like Yeti
My name is Liu Jing Lan

(I confiscated a cell phone from this student and wouldn't let him leave after the bell rang until he wrote a poem.)
I am a big bad egg
I play the game in the class
I am Den Lin Jian

I like fish. very much.
My favorite color is green. not else.
My name is green fish.

(Note the reversal of color.)
I am a black man
I used to be a white man
I'm Michael Jackson

I am very hungry
I want to the supermarket
I need so many food

I need to study
My Dad requires me to
My name is Mattin

I'm a high student
I like listening music
My name is Shan Min

The god is a girl
I am a god of myself
So god is LiuQiong

I'm enjoy freedom
I just want to do myself
because I'm Honki

I got a stomache
I am not a luky dog
I like warm weather

I like eating food
But I'm not a lazy girl
I am Xie Qiao Yong

Like father Like son,
what do you think about it?
I don't think so.

My name is Vicky
The world is very nice
I love my mother

I like a grow up
Because grow up so heavy
I hope me quiet grow up

where are you from
I do not know about you
Hi. have a good time

I play basketball
I love basketball so much
I'm eating apple.
Apples taste very good.

(This student initially wrote a dull-but-correct haiku. Then I directed all the students to write their names and student numbers on their papers before turning them in, and he wrote this.)
My name is B1
I like the number of 3
but you give me 8

I love my home.
What are you doing now?
How to do it.

THE BEST ONES

(They often say "very" instead of "really".)
I'm a common girl
And very like you!
I am He Yan Xi

tell me the reason.
why you are so beautiful
my name is Devil.

I like sky very much
I think I'm very handsome
My teacher is cute.

You are beautiful
You're an American girl
You are my teacher

You're a beautiful girl
like the red rose and light moon
I'll express to you