The Thirty-Ninth

What a spectacular photographic achievement. Someone took this while that man was falling after he jumped out of the World Trade Center. So perfectly aligned, so still, with those colors and those proportions while that guy was falling in the midst of mass chaos. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How do you DO that? How do you react that fast?

I've been spending my days for the last week (week and a half?) basically doing nothing except for bootcamp and enjoying my glowy-happy life with A and our kitty. Considering that I'm about to run out of money and am still unemployed, it's absolutely inexcusable.

Which is why I haven't told anybody but you.

I've been claiming that I'm applying for jobs (which I've been doing for months without any response from any employer at all, even for positions for which I'm way overqualified) and studying for the CBEST before I study for the GRE (I made a study schedule that was overly ambitious and immediately derailed).

Instead, I'm reading endless analyses of Mad Men (it is SO good, and there is SO much to think about) and finding painfully amazing photographs on reddit.

The Thirty-Eighth

Today I like this:

And this:

The Thirty-Seventh

So, unemployment's not overly interesting.

The highlights:

1) Traveling for a month with my mother and her friend.

2) Joining my mother's bootcamp class, which is the only thing making me feel accomplished at the moment.

3) Generally spending a lot of time with my mother, which is nice.

4) Getting my ridiculous foster cat back.

5) Finally completing my bumpy adjustment to my pre-China home again, so I am like butter melting all over A in love again. (I took him to the 6:30am bootcamp today, and he was perfect.)

6) Breaking the no-sugar edict; I fought with A and lied. Sort of trying to get back on board.

7) Studying a bit.

8) Starting ESL volunteer teaching tonight.

9) Behind on pen pal stuff, responding to emails, keeping in touch, studying, cat-related chores, and job searching. (Basically all my responsibilities.)

Me and my mom in England:

The Thirty-Sixth

Though I usually do abandon my projects, I didn't desert my blog willingly. China, as you may know, censors its internet, and whatever algorithm they use to do it appears to be deeply flawed. C and I were always mid-lesson plan when the government would suddenly get ticked off at our excessive viewings of grammar activity pages and block all Google searches or all image searches or all blogs by Mormon women (for example).

Usually we just had to leave it alone for a few minutes and then the pages would load again (simple, but really not helpful when we'd left the lesson planning till the last minute), but occasionally some things became consistently blocked for several months.

Such was the fate of Blogspot for all my remaining months in China.

So, hello again! Tales of unemployment in California shall be forthcoming!

The Thirty-Fifth

I had my students write two-line poems. They are all such geniuses:

blue sky as your eyes
hot sun like my heart
--Cream 370-48

mother father and weather
mouth math and truth
--370-57

One night, two night, miss you every night
Monday, Sunday, love you every day
-- 370-51

I sent the last one to A. :)

The Thirty-Fourth: Measurements

Courtesy of C's Hong Kong Ikea paper tape measure.

Bust (lungs medium-full): 38.75"
Chest (lungs medium-full): 32.50"
Waist: 30.00"
Hips: 37.00"
Thigh (standing up): 24.25"
Calf (standing up): 13.75"
Upper Arm (hanging at side): 13.50"

This week I began eating better and exercising again/more, hoping to keep it up till I go home. I'll measure again right before I leave and see if I got anywhere.

The Thirty-Third: TWO MONTHS

I have only two months left in China! This has put so much pressure on me.

1) I have so much to cover with my classes, so now I have all this prep work I need to do IMMEDIATELY. And though I had a free day today...nada.

Gonna wake up really early tomorrow to get some stuff done. Gotta work all weekend now.

2) I NEED TO GET OFF MY DUFF AND STUDY CHINESE SERIOUSLY BEFORE I GO HOME. 'TWILL BE TOTALLY PATHETIC IF I NEVER DID IT EVER.

3) I promised A that I would quit biting my nails here, and while I've been better about it, I've not quit.

But what I am the most concerned about (sadly) is now really want to come home hot. This swelling (expanding, exploding) desire has derailed all my recent mental health progress where I was happy at my weight and just wanted to be in shape.

Maybe I didn't actually make that progress.

So:

4) My skin. I have been so mean to it, and I hope serious Retin-A applications can fade the scarring lickety-split.

I've become super-disciplined about keeping up my skin care routine and not touching my skin EVER. (With the no nail-biting either, I am CONSTANTLY yanking my hands away from myself.)

5) My weight! According to the Spaniard's hotel scale and my clothing/eyes, I have not lost ANY weight since I came here, and I am no longer okay with that.

I just finally started pilates today. Will start running again tomorrow. (I'm nervous about finally confronting all the conditioning I've lost.)

Being very serious about diet. Been waking up to eat a large cafeteria breakfast, then a small lunch, then whatever fruit I want for the rest of the day. No chips, no junk. Lots of hunger. Motivation wavers hourly, because dieting totally sucks, and I'm really tired.

I wish I'd put more thought into it/could calculate the calories, but there's no time and not a lot of options in China. I can't imagine it's much less than 1200 calories, if that, so I'm sure it's fine. Two months won't kill me. Even if I am really, really tired.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.


P.S. I like this for my wedding dress:

































P.P.S. And I might like this purse:

































P.P.P.S. And, in an insane twist, I can actually afford them!